Strike two

I did not get the puppy. :( I knew it wasn't good when I hadn't heard from the foster mom even by 10pm. I checked my work email after I got home from the department dinner, and saw that the potential adopter was apparently able to convince her husband to take the puppy.

I know there are plenty of dogs in shelters that need good homes, but I am wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something. This is the second dog I have tried to adopt that has fallen through. Both times they just came to me, crossed my path, fell into my lap, so I thought it was meant to be. Perhaps I should take heed that neither adoption panned out. I do have enormous anxiety over how Comet will react to a dog. He is my baby. We are best buds. He is not like the average cat. He is waiting for me at the door when I get home. He follows me up and down the stairs. We cuddle in the mornings. If I am sitting, he is on my lap. If I am lying down, he is right next to me or even on top of me. I love him more than is healthy, and I'm afraid if I get a dog he will change. He will hide all the time. He will be scared and mad at me and hold a grudge and feel betrayed and ignored. But when I see dogs, my heart aches for one. I want to take my dog to dog parks, and for car rides, and to bagels, and to the flea market. I heard of a restaurant that allows dogs on Sunday afternoons. How great is that?! For these past two adoption attempts, I have talked myself into taking the plunge, and then when they don't come to pass, part of me is hugely disappointed, but part of me is also hugely relieved.

I think the best thing for now, since my ambivalence is so strong, is to wait. I think I remember saying that last time. Perhaps if and when I am truly ready, the right doggie will come along.