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I kid you not, these are the links on the very top of CNN's main page.

What charity would you give $30 million to?

The war against terror is costing us $15 Billion dollars per month. You could give 5000 charities three million dollars each--for just one month's cost of the war. For ten months' cost, you could give those same 5000 charities 30 million dollars each. What charity would YOU give it to?

1. Humane Society of the US
2. American Red Cross
3. World Wildlife Fund
4. Sierra Club
5. Disabled American Veterans
6. St. Jude Children's Hospital
7. Domestic violence shelters
8. PBS
9. Doctors Without Borders
10. America's Second Harvest
11. YMCA
12. Salvation Army
13. Boys and Girls Club
14. American Cancer Society
15. Habitat for Humanity
16. Big Brothers Big Sisters
17. Special Olympics
18. Muscular Dystrophy Association
19. Toys for Tots
20. Unicef
21. Make A Wish Foundation
22. Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
23. ASPCA
24. Environmental Defense Fund
25. Amnesty International
26. United Way
27. National Public Radio
28. Goodwill
29. Salvation Army
30. Children's Defense Fund

Or, for one month's cost of the war, you could stand out in front of Target and give out $100 gift cards at the rate of 1 per minute for 104,166 days. That's 285 years.

Pray for peace, people everywhere. Do you see what I see?

Declaring war on junk e-mail

On a daily basis, I get probably 15-20 junk email messages. They're not quite spam, because at some point or another I actually either signed up for it, or bought something that put me on the list. I get 1-2 "personal" messages a day, if that. It really is out of control. It's as bad as, if not worse than, junk postal mail. To wit, my inbox today:

B.A. Framer
UCSD Alumni Association
Amazon
iTunes
US Mint
Harris Teeter (x2)
New York Times (x2)
Eddie Bauer
WRAL
News & Observer
Snapfish

Yesterday, many of the above, PLUS:
Pandora
One.org
Bravenet
Star Tribune
Trip Advisor
Apple
Longhorn Steakhouse
e-Miles
BMG
Holiday Inn Express
US Airways
Continental

And that's not even counting all the emails I have automatically labeled "promotions" and set to bypass my Inbox: Bath & Body Works, NewEgg, Buy.com, Talbots, Art.com, Borders, Body Shop, Comp USA. I don't unsubscribe outright, because often there are valuable coupons in these emails, but nor do I want to see them every few days, when I purchase from these vendors only a couple of times a year. Thank goodness for the Gmail filter option. I'm off to create more filters, so I can basically reserve my Inbox for REAL emails.

Rocky start to eHarmony

I joined eHarmony last week. I'd been meaning to for quite some time, but kept putting it off because I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. Now, I guess, I am. Or at least I thought I was. I was feeling pretty good about myself--job's going well, my house is settled, I'm in a good exercise routine, I wasn't pining away for old times. So, you know, time to start thinking about finding someone to spend time with.

Years ago, I had a profile on another service, Spring Street, which is accessible from lots of different websites. I joined through Salon.com, but they're also seen on The Onion, Nerve, etc. So I'm not exactly new to the whole online dating thing. But it's gotten to the point where finding someone online is no different than finding someone in a bar. It's all about looks. So I thought that maybe eHarmony would be a better route, since instead of just posting a profile and waiting for people to email, they actually match you up with people, and it's supposed to be a "serious" mate-finding site.

Well, I took the much-hyped personality profile, and much to my surprise, they found me 6 matches right away. I was stoked, because I had been very specific about age, religion, and geographic location. So I checked these guys out. They looked decent, right around my age, in good professional jobs, and they sounded pretty well grounded. Yippee! So I started the "guided communication" process. This entails selecting five multiple choice questions from a list of about 50, and sending them. I asked things like, "What is your philosophy on travel?" Then you wait for their responses. And wait.

As if 6 matches weren't enough, I got 6 more the next day. It was raining men! But then I started getting the dreaded "CLOSED." This is where you can basically indicate you're not interested in someone by ending communication. Since all the guys were local and around my age, with similar interests, etc., I didn't expect to get closed before we even started communicating! But sure enough, my first one came before I'd even had a chance to read his profile, and his reason: Other. Oh, that's helpful. And ever since then, for every 6 matches I get (I don't know why they come in batches of 6) at least 2 close me out right away. Sometimes they say they're in another relationship--ok, then why is your profile still accepting matches? One even said "There's too much going on in my life right now." Again, why doesn't he turn off his profile? Which leads me to believe that these "reasons" are just a way to let someone down easy. It's hard not to be a little discouraged. I posted several pictures of myself, and of course I think they're the best ones, and to think that someone would just be like, "Nah," well that kind of hurts. I mean, I can't expect everyone to find me attractive and find my profile interesting, but any form of rejection is a tiny blow to the ego. And naturally I start to assume that these guys are rejecting me simply because I'm not skinny. And if you read their profiles with that in mind, it is very disheartening. Almost all of them make some reference to how important being physically fit is to them. Which is just code for "no fatties." Fine, whatever, I don't want to be with someone who focuses so much on weight anyway. But if you go out to any public place, like the grocery store, Walmart, wherever, you see overweight women with husbands and kids, and I have to wonder: "If they found a guy, WHY CAN'T I????!" It is incredibly frustrating.

If signing up hadn't been so expensive (I joined for 3 months) I would be tempted to just forget about it. But I think I'll just let the matches keep on coming, and we'll see if anyone is interested. I am in communication with two guys right now, so at least there's that. We'll have to just wait and see.

Most ridiculous charity ever

I'm watching Wednesday's episode of the Ellen show, and the guest is Sharon Stone. Ever since I was a volunteer at the Wildlife Waystation, of which she was an active supporter, I have admired her charitable works. However, today she lost a lot of that respect. The charity she was promoting was--wait for it--paying for girls to go to their proms. Dresses, makeup, admission, etc. If she wants to spend her own money on that, be my guest, but she was actually soliciting donations. "For only $175 you can send a girl to the prom!" How utterly ridiculous! There are so many more important things that money could benefit instead of paying for one night of lame decorations, sweaty dancing, and bad food, not to mention all the misbehaving that notoriously accompanies prom night. Come on!

Devastating North Raleigh Fire

I was sitting in my office Thursday when a fire truck raced down Six Forks Road, sirens blaring. This is not terribly uncommon, since there's a fire station about half a mile from our building. But then several minutes later, another truck sped by. And ten minutes later, another one. "What's going on?" I thought to myself. Or rather, thought to myself out loud, which prompted a coworker to look up the local headlines online. There was a fire in a North Raleigh townhouse subdivision. I had heard in the weather forecast earlier that there would be high winds and low humidity, which in California always meant prime wildfire conditions. But you don't hear about wildfires much here in North Carolina. Things are too lush. But somehow, a home had caught on fire, and because it was attached to many other homes, and it was windy, the fire spread quickly. In total, 27 homes were destroyed, and 11 damaged. The cause? "Carelessly discarded smoking material."


I will spare you a rant about the ills of smoking, however I must express my disdain for smokers who carelessly throw their still-on-fire butts out the car window, or onto the ground. Not only is this littering (a big pet peeve of mine to begin with) but it's also dangerous, as evidenced by this horrible fire. If 10,000 acres of brush burn because wind knocks down a power line, that's certainly a shame. And of course it is sad to think of the poor wild animals who perish in a fire of that size. But when you see the photos of people's homes completely burned to the ground, and you hear of their pets being burned alive (either because the family wasn't home at the time to rescue them, or they had to flee so quickly they didn't even have time to grab their pet) and it's all because of a stupid cigarette butt, that is really just appalling.


What's scary is that it could happen to anyone's home due to the carelessness of another human being. I could be so compulsive as to check 5 times that my curling iron is off, but someone else's absent-mindedness (or worse, complete disregard for others) could just basically ruin my life. And that's what happened to these poor people of Pine Knoll Townes.

Here's a link to some photos of the devastation. If you are compelled, help here.

Satellite woes

I must go to bed in half an hour so this will be as quick as I can make it. Alas, I am without Direct TV. The service guys came on Saturday to install it and before I'd even answered the door they knew it wasn't going to happen. To give them credit, they tried. But it wasn't meant to be. My apartment complex requires that the satellite be on your screened porch. Mine faces north and east, and the dish needs to point to the southwest. I thought maybe if they placed it in the faaaaar corner of the porch they could get a signal, but no. So then I asked if they could put it in my bedroom. (They're laughing at me at this point.) They said I'd need a tripod, or at least a bucket with cement in it and a pole sticking up. I said, "Couldn't we set it on a chair or something? I'm desperate!" (The laughter increases.) But they agreed to try and get a signal through the window. They were actually curious themselves as to whether it would work. Nope. So I call up the office in a huff. "The Direct TV guys are here and they can't get a signal on the screened porch. Where else can they put the satellite?" Of course the answer is nowhere. So I whip out, "This is ridiculous. You're basically forcing your residents to do business with a company that is rated unsatisfactory by the Better Business Bureau." The poor guy said, "I can't change the rules, but I can page our maintenance guy." All righty, let's try that. James calls me back in two minutes. Same spiel to him. He has the same response. "I don't make the rules, I'm just telling you what they are." He said to talk to the manager on Monday. So the Direct TV guys had to leave without installing anything. So close and yet so far.

Monday I called the manager and instead of heading out of the gate with my BBB-rating bitchiness, I decided to try the honey approach. "I've got a bit of a problem. Is there anything you can do to help me out?" Turns out she hates Mediaworks more than I do! She wants to switch the complex to Time Warner but they are in a Mediaworks contract and so she's hired a lawyer to get out of it. Meanwhile Mediaworks is causing all sorts of problems for her residents, such as sending them to collections for not returning cable boxes that were, in fact, returned. And, of course, providing crappy cable TV and internet service. After this discussion the manager gave me her boss's boss's phone number and said that he can override the rules, but she doubts he will. Apparently if they let me install a satellite but keep the rules in effect, they will be violating some Fair Housing laws or something. I haven't called the big boss yet because work has been CRAZY lately due to Ernesto threatening Florida and all the schools there scrambling to send us their updated data and send out calls. Hopefully I will have some time to call him tomorrow. I don't feel as crusade-y as I was feeling before, because knowing that the manager hates them too and is trying to get out of the contract makes me feel better. I'll still call to see if there's anything I can do. But I'm basically resigned to living with Mediaworks suckiness until I move next spring.

Unacceptable

Guess what I just discovered?! MediaWorks has an Unsatisfactory rating with the Better Business Bureau!

Based on BBB files, this company has an unsatisfactory record with the Bureau due to unanswered complaint(s). The Bureau processed a total of 24 complaints about this company in the last 36 months, our standard reporting period.

Complaints Concerned
Advertising Issues: 2
Delivery Issues: 1
Repair Issues: 1
Service Issues: 11
Product Issues: 2
Refund or Exchange Issues: 1
Contract Issues: 1
Billing or Collection Issues: 5

I'm going to ask the manager about why they chose MediaWorks, and why they have no problem dealing with this type of company. Just to be informed, I checked the status of the property management company, Drucker and Falk. Their rating is Satisfactory.

I never knew you could do this so easily. Just go here and type in the name of the business you want to look up.

Now I really, really need to look into Dish Network and DSL.

The A/C, it mocks me

I stayed at a Best Western in Covington, VA last night. It was decent enough. Yet I got barely a wink of sleep because of the bloody A/C. It did a fine job of keeping the room cool, but it was the loudest A/C unit I've ever heard! I had the fan on low, and turned the thermostat up so it would not click on as often. But there was no winning with this beast. Faced with the choice of either lying awake sweating, or lying awake not sweating, I'll take the latter! But that meant I got up at 5:30 having gotten more or less no shut-eye. Which is fine--anyone can hack that for a day. New moms do it every night for months.

What was so ironic was that at my training today, the A/C was down. Yes, imagine a dozen adults in a school computer lab, body heat adding to machine heat, with no circulation. The outside temp was around 85, with humidity around the same--and it was cooler outside than in. (Honestly, for a second, I considered if there was any way we could do the training outside. Ha!) I was sweating buckets, which is oh-so-professional. I began to wonder if the A/C gods were punishing me for cursing the hotel unit's volume.

The Garmin got me lost today. My destination was a school built in 2001, which is not all that recently. Both Google and the Garmin gave me the same directions, so I didn't question them. Somehow I ended up on a one-lane road that was basically a glorified driveway. A huge German shepherd and a little white puffball dog greeted me by running toward my car. I was only going 10 mph and I saw them from afar, so there wasn't a problem, but the way they approached me made me think that they wanted me to stop and pet them. I did not--I was too concerned about the fact that the Garmin led me astray, and I had an appointment to keep! Thank goodness someone answered when I called the district office (and luckily I had cell phone reception, although barely). The kind lady was able to give me directions...which were completely different from what I had. Go figure. I still made it with plenty of time to spare, because I tend to allow time for these kinds of incidents.

Driving up to Virginia, the Garmin had me go on all these two-lane small-town highways, and I just figured there was no better way to get to where I was going (Middle-of-Nowhere-ville). It was the scenic route, to be sure. I got to drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway for a short spell, and passed through some quaint towns. But I also lost satellite reception a couple of times on the windy mountain roads. So after my training I asked a couple of the guys if they had any suggestions, and they gave me a much more direct route. It turned out to take about the same amount of time, but there were basically only five highways to remember (64 to 220 to 58 to 86 to 40), as opposed to the dozen or so the Garmin had put me on. Bottom line with navigators: do not rely on them completely. But the same goes with Google maps. However, I would guess that they are much more accurate in the urban areas.

I haven't talked much about what's going on at my office these days. It's all quite thrilling. In addition to all my traveling and training and other assorted duties, I was tasked with screening, interviewing, and choosing two new employees. At first I was very flattered to be given this assignment, considering I've only been there five months myself. But then I realized that the job fell to me mainly because no one else wanted to do it. I thought it was fun to read everyone's resumes and interview them. We got over 60 inquiries, and I was surprised at how many people have no clue how to do a proper resume! When I was searching for a job, I figured everyone looked up the same online resume tip resources as I did. Apparently not! About half didn't bother with a cover letter either, which was immediately a big minus. I probably conducted a dozen phone interviews, and then called in half of those for in-person meetings. I was beginning to second-guess my ability to judge candidates when, after three consecutive interviews, I was unimpressed. But then the fourth was the jackpot! The second position was harder to fill, because skill-wise there were several candidates who fit the bill, but there was one whose personality stood out. I do hope both of them accept their offers.

Meanwhile, I will be starting a new schedule. Currently I work 8:30 am - 5:00 pm. In a few weeks I will switch to 6:00 am - 2:30 pm. You may think I'm bonkers, but I volunteered to do this. Yes, I will have to get up at an ungodly hour, but imagine being done by 2:30!! I worked a similar schedule several years ago, and found it to my liking. My boss foresees that on some days they'll need me to stay late for trainings, but he offered a bit of an incentive. Sweet.

What else has been percolating lately? Oh! Hopefully after this weekend I will have news to share regarding an upcoming trip (for pleasure, not business). If you know me, you know I l-o-v-e the planning stages almost as much as the traveling itself!

I will leave you with a couple photos taken during my drive yesterday. These are somewhere in Virginia, but could just as easily be North Carolina:

The Ivy Monsters

Grumble and awe

Pardon me while I use my blog platform to complain. It's not even a new complaint. Mediaworks sucks. I feel like I've been transported to 1993, when internet speeds topped out at 33kbps.


You know your connection is slow when you are forced to watch the Google logo load line by line. How did we ever put up with speeds like that? It'll probably take me ten minutes to upload this post!

Technology, when it's done right, amazes me (what an original statement). I read an article in the NY Times this morning about the future of cell phones running off WiFi hotspots. Basically, internet calling (e.g., Vonage/Skype) for your mobile phone. Apparently the sound quality is much better than regular cell service, and of course you would basically have unlimited minutes. Pretty cool. You'd think the cell phone companies would be up in arms, but since many of them provide high-speed internet service too through their parent companies--think Cingular (owned by AT&T and BellSouth) and Verizon (owned by...Verizon)--they make money either way.

Grrrrrrrr

Look at what I found today:


I did not see it when I got into my car to leave work. I think it came from the parking garage at the gym--I didn't see it when I was leaving but it's kind of dark in there. I'm hoping this can be buffed out so that it's less noticeable. Note the scratch directly underneath the ding, too. Not a good day for my still-nameless coche. I found out (from my mom) that October 2 is Name Your Car Day. I hope to have a name for her way before then, but that is my absolute deadline. In a completely unrelated coincidence, she's going in on Wednesday to have her heinie shined up and some paint overspray removed. She's like a princess going for a spa day. And I kind of feel like a princess in her, but she's too sporty and peppy to be named Princess.

Meanwhile I'm getting a rental to go do a training in Montgomery County, NC. Today I got some feedback from my boss. Apparently he calls up random accounts we've trained to ask them how it went. One of mine was complimentary, while the other one said I was "assertive." This could be a good thing, but I know why they said that. I was lobbying their superintendent to get better use out of our service (i.e., send more calls), because their tech guy wanted me to. I guess I pushed it a little too hard. Live and learn. My co-trainer got one glowing feedback and one that said he's Speedy Gonzales. He does talk fast, even for me, and I'm a mile a minute myself!

I can't believe that I'm going to L.A. in three days! Woo hoo! I'm so excited!

Sleep issues

I think I might actually be getting too much sleep. I know, this is not commonly considered a problem. Most people would give a kidney to be able to indulge in nine hours of sleep a night. But I think this over-indulgence may actually be the reason why I haven’t been getting truly restful repose lately. I’m not the type of person whose sleep is easily disturbed by things like an unsettled mind, daily stresses, etc. I could be charged with defusing a bomb on a nuclear submarine transporting a cargo of puppies, and the night before I’d sleep fine. But lately I’ve been tossing and turning a lot, and waking up many times during the night.

I have attempted to get to the bottom of this through a process of trial and error. Am I not tired enough at the end of the day? This is partly what prompted me to join a gym, knowing that regular exercise makes for better sleep. Am I too hot? Take off the second layer. Is it the darn chirping birds? Keep the windows closed. All routes tested to no avail. Last night I even decided to plug my night light back in, thinking maybe that was the culprit. (I’m grasping at straws, people!) I still woke up, but I took note of the time: around 3 am. I’d gone to bed around 9:45. So I’d slept soundly for the first five hours. After that, it was somewhat restless, until my alarm went off at 6:20. It dawned on me that maybe I don’t need as many Z's as I've been allowing myself. So the experiment continues, with a new variable. I will stay up later and see if that makes a difference. Because seven solid hours are better than nine fitful ones.

No, not the trees!

Route 1 is the main artery here that takes me from Apex, where I live, north into Cary and Raleigh. Ever since I arrived, and probably for the next year or more, there has been construction on Route 1 in order to widen it to eight lanes total. Currently there are only two lanes in each direction, which does cause some congestion during rush hour--although I suspect some of it is due to the construction itself, a case of the cure making the illness worse before it gets better. Anyway, I have often wondered how they would possibly fit eight lanes of traffic, since there only seemed to be room for six at most. Today I got my answer. They are massacring the trees!


This isn't the greatest shot, but it's the best I could do while speeding by, and it gives you some idea of the tractors just clearing everything away as if it is so much detritus. It's really heartbreaking as you drive along to keep seeing more and more piles of felled trees just stacked up on top of each other waiting to be hauled away to who knows where, for who knows what purpose. I know trees get chopped down all the time to make way for roads and homes, and every day entire forests are consumed to manufacture paper and two-by-fours and tables. But a) I don't see it, which makes it easier to pretend it doesn't happen, and b) one of the neatest things about North Carolina is that when you're driving on the highways, it always feels like you're in the middle of nowhere because the sides of the highways are solid trees. In the winter when most of them are bare, civilization peeks through, but in the spring and summer, you can't tell there are grocery stores and office buildings and subdivisions behind the lush greenery. Now there are dozens, if not hundreds of fewer trees along the 1, and that makes me sad.

On top of that, I am irate on behalf of the poor folks whose houses back right up to the highway. They used to have trees to block the unsightly traffic and at least partially deaden the noise, but now the houses are in plain sight with only a couple trees here and there. If I lived in one of those houses, I would be livid. Of course, I wouldn't live in one of them in the first place, because I would never buy property with a busy surface street--let alone a freeway--in my backyard, regardless of how many trees serve to buffer. So it's sympathy ire. Which will fade, I'm sure, when my commute time is halved after the widening is complete and the piles of trees are gone. As they say, out of sight.... This is why I'd make such a lousy activist.

Welcome!

There's been an uptick in visitors here recently and I'm not quite sure why. My trusty stat counter can tell me cities of origin, but it's not always accurate. It lists the ISP's location, which is not necessarily the user's location. For instance, I show up as being in Atlanta, when of course I'm not. But apparently I've got some new readers from Oregon, Virginia, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Louisiana, and Georgia.


And the strangest thing is I can't tell how they found me. My aforementioned counter service usually identifies where a reader clicked to arrive at my blog. If the person typed in the address directly or navigated via a bookmark, it says "no referring link." Well apparently all these new visitors are typing in my address because they didn't come here from a search engine, and they didn't come here via a link from somebody else's blog or by hitting the "next blog" button. I'm very intrigued. I mean, I often get readers from far-flung locales, but they're just passing through randomly and don't spend much time here. However these new visitors are poking around and reading the archives and stuff. I hope this doesn't freak you out that I know this. Don't let it discourage you from more poking. I'm not snooping, just curious. Nothing would please me more than to get a comment from anyone who enjoys reading my blog. Even if it's anonymous!
Update: Let's add Nevada and California to the list of new visitors. Yay!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In other intriguing news, I got a letter today from Mediaworst, my cable and internet provider, telling me that they've just completed a major upgrade to their infrastructure and will be switching over to this "far superior" system on Wednesday. I have to swap my current modem for a newer one in the apartment complex's leasing office that day, or make an appointment to have a tech come by and do it for me. Assuming this is going to speed up my connection, this is fantastic news! I do bandwidth tests occasionally and this connection is horrifically slow. Right now:


Now if I were paying 20 bucks a month, that would be one thing. But this is nearly 50! But it's my only option because I don't have a land line so DSL is out, and satellite is even more expensive! We'll have to see if the new system really makes a difference.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tonight I went bowling with a bunch of ladies. One was Laura, who I've known a few months; she organized it. Another was Aneda, who I met about 5 weeks ago through Bunko. The rest I didn't know. I suck at bowling. We played three games and my scores--although progressively better--were abysmal. 69, 75, 91. Granted, I hadn't played in years before tonight, so maybe I should cut myself some slack. But I do not take losing well. And bowling is particularly wincing because after you roll the ball you have to turn around and look at five faces staring back at you. Now, I did get a couple spares and even one strike, but the rest of the time it was just a few pins here and there. But it was a good time overall. Better than sitting home alone I suppose.

Macaroni Grill brings out the drill sergeant in me

Last night I went out to dinner at Macaroni Grill with Arvind, Larry, and Carlee. It was intended to be Larry and Carlee's last big pasta hurrah before starting their new diet. I was impressed that neither of them cleaned their plates...if I was headed into months of deprivation I would totally pig out.

Anyway, our server, Tiff, was new, and under the supervision of Jan, the trainer. I remember their names because they wrote them on our table. If you've never been to Macaroni Grill, let me explain. Instead of table cloths they use butcher paper to cover the tables (and to give all their patrons paper cuts), and they provide you with crayons so you can scawl at will. One year, I went to a Macaroni Grill in California for my birthday, and I wrote "Happy Birthday Melissa" on the table, then spent the rest of the evening trying to cover it up with plates because I didn't want the server to see. As if regular waiters and waitresses singing some non-royalty-protected version of natal well wishing isn't bad enough, Macaroni Grill often has trained opera singers going around...having one serenade me would turn my cheeks crimson and make me want to crawl under the table.

All right, so back to the server-in-training. She was awful. I was unwilling to cut her any slack because, as the trainer told us, she was in her second fourth "follow," or observation. Meaning, after initial instruction, trainees get followed four nights by a mentor server. After the fourth go-round, they should be ready to be on their own. But this chick was on her second fourth follow. Funny they don't call it a fifth, but rather a second fourth. Of course, I was perfectly courteous to the trainee's face, but when the mentor asked my candid opinion, I was honest. The girl interrupted us constantly, disappeared toward the end of the meal, and had zero personality. Or rather, not the personality a waitress should have...you know, friendly, outgoing, at ease with new people. Now, I'm sure this lovely girl is perfectly adept at many skills and tasks at which I fail miserably, but some people are just not cut out to be in the food service industry. I openly admit I'm probably one of them, but then again I'm not working in a restaurant, am I?

Well, one of my dining companions (who shall remain nameless because turtles love anonymity) thought I was being rather harsh in my judgment of Tiff's skills. Granted, I was in a very spicy mood last night. I get that way sometimes. Usually I'm compassionate to a fault, but I felt fully justified in my assessment. As I explained to the server, I used to be a teacher, and if someone is not performing up to standards, you should not pretend they are. It behooves everyone in the long run, although it can be a little wince-inducing to deliver the news.

So here's where the table cloth and crayons come into play. The nameless turtle decided to express his dismay with my hatefulness by writing "Big Meanie" on the table, then drawing an arrow pointing to me. In response, I wrote "Big Weenie" and drew an arrow to him. Not content to let the immature insults end there, he proceeded to scrawl "Poopy Head" and draw a less-than-flattering portrait of yours truly. Yes, this is the kind of witty repartee my friends and I engage in. Delightful, no?


Notice how the N's are both messed up...we were writing upside down and who knew that a capital N upside down is the same as it is right-side up? Guess you learn something new everyday. Unless you're Tiff. Ouch. Did it again. I'm so hateful.

You'll be relieved to know that if Tiff doesn't make the cut as a server, apparently she still gets to keep her job. She'll just be a hostess instead.

Sturm und drang

I saw a very disturbing film last night--The Constant Gardener. It is billed as a political thriller told through the lens of a romance. The previews looked intriguing. While the story was very well crafted, the movie was shot creatively, and the performances were riveting, the overall impact was not pleasant. This movie hits you like a ton of bricks. If you have any compassion for fellow human beings at all, you can't help but be deeply disturbed by what this film shows. While it is based on a novel, I suspect what it depicts is not pure fiction. Basically it's about pharmaceutical companies taking advantage of poor Kenyans by using them as unwitting subjects in drug trials...specifically for an anti-TB drug that often has fatal side effects. It's the Tuskegee Experiment all over again. As if that weren't bad enough, the movie depicts shantytowns and villages where people live in such extreme poverty it is unbelievable. And then to top it all off, there are bandits that come around to steal from and kill these already beleaguered people. It really makes you take stock of your own life, and realize how easy we have it here. An embarrassment of riches. A nauseating abundance. I purchased dozens of Christmas gifts and will receive a many in return. Yet one in six people on this planet lives without running water! It makes you put things in perspective. Here I am, grumbling because they came out with the video iPod five months after I bought my iPod photo, and these people have to walk 40 km to get medical attention; they subsist on rice dropped by UN workers; and they live in fear that men on horses will sweep in, take what little they have, and/or murder them and their families. Atrocious.

I don't usually watch movies like that, because I prefer to be an ostrich with my head in the sand. At the same time, I feel guilty for choosing cheerful denial. Yet what can I do, realistically? Short of selling all my possessions (or better yet, giving them away) and joining the Peace Corps, I have no ideas. Of course the answer is to find some middle ground, between doing absolutely nothing and dedicating my life to the cause. That balance is frustratingly elusive.

On top of all that lovely stuff, I've been feeling restless. I used to get this way when I was a teacher, during summer vacations. Too long with nothing to do, and I get depressed, which means I don't want to do anything at all. So it becomes a vicious cycle. I'm depressed because I'm not doing anything, but I'm not doing anything because I'm depressed. I even went for a run today to see if that would help clear my head. All it did was demonstrate how badly out of shape I've gotten in the past few months. Blech.

Lastly, the secret ingredient to Melissa's stew of malcontent: ambivalence about starting a new relationship. Do I want to get involved with someone if it's not headed for marriage? How do you know if it's headed for marriage until you're already involved? Could I handle another breakup? Am I ready to let go of the past? Oy, it's enough to make a girl wanna go hide under the covers and not come out until spring. But then I go back to those poor people in Third World countries, who really have something to moan and groan about, and I feel ashamed for indulging in self-pity.

Aaaaaaah! I need to snap out of it. I am optimistic that tomorrow will be better.

Getting cable TV and internet

I made an appointment with the cable company to have internet and TV services installed on Tuesday. I’d read online that Mediaworks stinks (enough to warrant the nickname Mediaworst) and my first impression wasn’t great. They do not give you a four hour window; rather, the appointment is for ALL DAY. The technician can show up any time between 8 am and 6 pm.

To prepare for this day long wait-fest, I purchased season one of Lost on DVD. I’d heard all the buzz, but had not watched a single episode. (I felt I already watched too much TV as it was and didn’t want to add another series to the mix.) But being faced with 12 hours of nothing to do except read, I decided what the heck. For the price of 2 movie DVD’s, I could get 24 episodes of a reputedly great show. I thought it was a pretty basic premise: plane crashes on a tropical island, the survivors play Robinson Crusoe. How could that remain fresh for more than one or two episodes? Turns out it really is a great show. Very high production values, closer to a movie than your average TV program. I found the writing and acting to be stellar. The plot is riveting, and develops at a good pace. All the different characters have compelling back stories and the format of the show, with the flashbacks, is unique and keeps every episode fresh. The creepiness factor is relatively low overall, given the fantasy/sci-fi element, but when you're a single girl watching it alone in a dark, empty apartment, episode after episode after episode, that factor automatically doubles. Frankly, the creepiest part was the title sequence. The simplicity of a single word, blurred, off kilter, coming toward you...fantastically unsettling. Brilliant design. Bravo!

Now, of course, I want to watch Season Two, but I’ve missed the first five episodes. Enter iTunes, which conveniently just started selling episodes for $1.99 the day after they air! Score for Melissa!

Now, I had time to watch almost the entire season one because the cable guy never showed on Tuesday. Let me correct that. He did appear at my door, long enough to write on a door hanger that services were not installed because I failed to sign a key release and leave him a check. He neglected, however, to knock or ring the doorbell. See, Mediaworks serves the “multi-family industry,” i.e., apartment complexes, and I guess most people don’t have time to wait around 12 hours for some technician to stop by (go figure!) so they tell the front office to let the cable guy in and they leave a check on the TV. I didn’t want to do that. Not like my place is filled with valuables, being practically empty, but a) Comet is here, and b) I wanted to be here to explain where to set everything up (since it’s not obvious, again due to the emptiness). So I was here, all day, watching Lost, waiting patiently and expectantly. When I found that card on my front door I was furious!

An irate phone call to Mediaworks did nothing to remedy the situation. They asked, “Did you step out for a moment and possibly miss him?” Uh, no. I even checked out the window for the van before going to the bathroom for crying out loud! I said I wanted the technician to come back, since he’d left the card less than an hour prior to my finding it. I was told this was not possible, and the next appointment was two days later. I asked to speak to the manager and was put through to her voicemail. I did not receive a return call. Several hours later I called back, only to get cut off after being on hold for 10 minutes. (Mind you, this is all happening on my cell phone during peak hours.) Called back again, waited another ten minutes, and was told I had already been rescheduled for tomorrow. Interesting, since tomorrow was supposedly already booked. Whatever, I guess I’ll take it. I told the lady to make a note in my file that I would be home, and the tech must ring the bell. The next day, I put the same door hanger back on my doorknob, after writing on the back, “I AM HOME. Please ring doorbell multiple times if necessary.”

He arrived around noon, and did ring the bell. He was the nicest guy you could imagine. (I did not ask him if he was the same guy as before.) We chatted for probably an hour. He said I was his last call of the day! At noon! Anyway, my cable TV and internet were activated so I was a happy camper. Finally! I’m not thrilled with the cable boxes they have or the on-screen guide...both seem like they’re from a decade ago in terms of functionality. Comcast’s were much better, as were Time Warner’s. Time Warner does operate out here, but they don’t service my complex. Bummer. As for the internet, it’s not as fast as Comcast was in L.A., but it definitely will suffice. After not having my own reliable internet connection since Sept. 19, I’ll take pretty much anything better than dial up!